Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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poop

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Why id the Jew keep putting his name at the end of anti jokes? He was an attention seeking big nosed virgin kunt

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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