Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

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The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Kim Kardashian got a job.

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What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing-set? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

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bryden is a faggot

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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Whats worse than 911..? The plane ride there.

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There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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