Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Women's Rights.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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u jelly?

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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Fox News.

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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