Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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Q: A Blonde and a Brunette fall of a building which one hits the ground first? A: The Brunette because she ways 200 pounds and the Blonde weighs 100.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? Four, one to take the light bulb out, one to put a new in, one to hold the ladder, and one to hold the guy holding the ladder

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? I honestly don't know, as I have never tested this out, nor do I plan to because I would like to not handle the bodies of poor deceased infants.

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

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A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

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What's worse than eating cows. Death

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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Anagram.

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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