Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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How many licks did it take for the little boy to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop? Three, and then he choked and died.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Pinus Testicles

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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I'm Jewish

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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