Give me thumbs up!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats dead and gone your nanas cat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the German say when the whole of India blew up: "Wow, das muss eine gewaltige Explosion haben! Wie haben sie das geschafft?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do pigs get hurt? They are run over by a tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

These Jokes suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops