Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

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I'll be back. Please use the door.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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i have two hands.

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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A man walks into a bar... who cares what happens after that Charlie Sheen is winning and Osama Bin Laden is dead

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Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

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this kid named terry was sitting in computer class then he got punched in the face

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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how do you start a stamped in mexico roll a nickle down the street sad thing is you just lost a nickle

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What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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