knock, knock who's there? I'm here to kill u! I'm here to kill u who? .......

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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A Jew,Spiderman and The Incredible Hulk all jump off the top of the Empire State Building,who hits the ground first? The Jew because the other two dont exist

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Snarf Nuggets

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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Today is May 18 2016.

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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Emily Brunelle is skinny

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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Thumbs this down

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Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops