Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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So I was blow drying my penis and my girlfriend asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating up your dinner." wasn't the right response.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

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Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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whats black and white? a zebra

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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the love boat

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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