There was 3 guys. A mexican, a black guy, and a jew. They work at a construction site and one day they found what appears to be a magic lamp. The mexican guy rubs the lamp hoping for a genie to appear and grant them wishes. Sure enough a genie appears. "I have been freed from the magic lamp." Says the genie "I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The mexican guy did not understand english. The jew steals the lamp and the black guy stabs him. The next day a blonde goes to the crime scene. He spot the magic lamp on the floor, picks it up, and rubs it. The genie appears. "I have been freed from the lamp. I shall grant one wish and one wish only to whoever rubbed the magic lamp." The blonde says "I wish Jose could speak ad understand english." Suddenly, the mexican appears and says "Thank you."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did your mom cross the street? She didn't. She was a home. Making me a sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i put the STD in S.T.u.D all i need is U!!! F_CK all i need is U!!!!!!! o.0 lolzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. what is catness and pita name together pines

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Christian prayed every night to God for a new bike. He kept it up for a year. Finally, he got a bike for his birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops