What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anagram.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kim Kardashian got a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops