What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than 12 babys stapled to a tree? 1 baby stapled to 12 trees!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anagram.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's better than four dead babies in one trashcan? Nothing. Those babies could have grown up to be new heads of state or even the doctor who discovers the cure for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Cubs are going to win the world series this year

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops