You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

I dont know, are you a tomato?

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

What killed the name cool? Coolio

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

A baby seal walks into a club.

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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