Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

Why did the boy give the girl flowers? Because her parents died in a car crash and he felt bad.

A: What happened to the snake? B: It died

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

A white person at Harvard

Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

An English man walks into a pub.

Wanna know something funny? Your face

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What goes good with coca cola? Thirst

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

What did my Grandmother get for Christmas? Alzheimer's.

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

knock knock

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

rosie o'donald goes on a diet

how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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