An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because it is the decaying remains of a corpse and therefore lacks brain and muscle tissue depriving it of the ability of though and movement both of which are key skills in the art of dancing.

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How do you make sushi if you are a fish? Commit suicide and sell yourelf to a sushi resturant!

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Penis

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops