Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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Last guy is a Joke thief Love, T.R.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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I told you it would happen

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I was born.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you thro them

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is prevalent.

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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