What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Republicans

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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try slamming a revolving door

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Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

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I was born.

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What do you call a guy with no hands working in a hat store? larry

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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I got shot once it hurt a lot

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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I told you it would happen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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