What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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yes... that's the joke

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Cheese stick

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What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting raped mercilessly by Ronald McDonald.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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religion.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The flag of the Arapaho Nation.

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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Homosexuals are gay.

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kyle dosnt question his sexuality

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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