I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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your mum

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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