Take this and put it- No.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Nothing. He punched him in the face and stole his iPhone.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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HEY YOU!!!!

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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How do you make a wall a darker shade of red? You throw the baby harder.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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Chad Wolbert is retarded.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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Your mums a penis joke.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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