How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Why did you not just "put a spell" on her instead? And you are totally mean, ever actually killed someone?

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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you lose.

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Harry Styles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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how many Pikachu's can you get in a mini? 14.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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refridgrator

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Take this and put it- No.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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