DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

thumb_up thumb_down +59

How do you fit a homosexual man into a small card board box? You cut him into pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

24

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Democrat say to the Republican? "I am sorry about your mother". They had been good friends since childhood and the Republicans mother was soon to die from terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops