What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when a rabbit is late for a very important date? Nothing, rabbits have no logical way to keep track of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How come grilled cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you put white cheese in a blender and turn it on? White cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

EGGPLANT

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops