What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Back when I was your age, we had to entertain ourselves with video games and TV.

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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What do you call somebody from Manchester? A twat

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roses aren't red, violets aren't blue, they're all black, cause i'm colorblind. what about you?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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what do you call a man with no penis? what ever his name is

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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