A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. His death was mourned by his wife and three children who wished he would not have been so reckless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

falling didnt make the difference

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man walks into a store and buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A jewish lady is cleaning a house to make some extra money. Its great that she can still find work in this economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do blacks run away from whites? Because god told all people to never go to the light.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops