Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

FUCK YOU NEVEN

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops