Harry Styles

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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What's black and white and red all over? Colors

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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Rigo your a stupid ass

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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