A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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What is your view on school violence? I'm all for it.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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Teacher: "What is the outside layer on a tree?" Dog: "Bark" Teacher: "How would you describe the desert surface?" Dog: "Rough" Teacher: "Would you say that Abraham Lincoln was an intelligent man?" Dog: "Yarp"

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How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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Justin Bieber got laid

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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