when a midget takes weed, does he get high or medium???

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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the love boat

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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That's what she didn't say

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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One time I masturbated by myself

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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Trashcan!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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