What's blue and orange at the bottom of a swimming pool? A dead baby, why's it there? I popped the arm bands.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL O LO LO L OL O LO L OL O LO LO L OL OL O LO LO L OL OL OL O LO L OL OL O L OL OLLOLOLLOL OL O LO LO L OL OL O

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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whats blue, saggy, moldy and smelly? Will Nealis' Vagina

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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