A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

My mom fell on our cat and it died.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How can you shed 10 pounds in one day? Get your legs amputed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i have an apple. now suck my dick

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops