yo mommas so ugly that everyone died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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An 8 year old, a 9 year old, and jerry sandusky walk into a shower...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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