Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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A dyslexic man walks into a saloon and asks for a hair cut.

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Who is the worst teacher ever? Mrs. Thompson

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Life is an elephant, get married.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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poop

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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