Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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Thumbs this down

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

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What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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alston wang

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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Wy did the man fall? A tree fell on his legs!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops