Why did the girl fall of the swing? Because she was shot in the face by a lone gunman.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What battle did Napoleon die in? His last one.

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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Why did the black girl and white guy have sex? Because they were both sexually attracted to each other.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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