Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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TIMMAH!

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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