Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Q. Why can't Stevie wonder read? A. Because he is black

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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Your mama's so stupid... She scored below average on a recent IQ test.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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