A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Getting an STD. What's worse than mixing up the order of the joke and the punchline?

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Two muffins are in an oven. The oven is set to 425 degrees farenheit. The two muffins are taken out of the oven once cooked, and enjoyed by the couple who cooked them.

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Why couldn't Scruffy get out from under the car? It had parked on his skull.

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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