Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

2 out of 4 questions. How do you get an elephant in a fridge? Open it, take the girrafe out, put the elephant in, and close it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference between black people and dogs? people actually care when something happens to a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -18

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I'll be back. Please use the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I have 7 oranges in one hand and 8 oranges in the other, what do I have? Big hands!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A gay jew walked into a bar. Just kidding, for there was only a red blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you know a French guy has been in your back yard? Your thrash cans are empty and your dog's pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you tell if a kitten is alive? Throw it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -18

This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops