What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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I killed someone today. :D

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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Jesus was a good guy

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what goes up and down , and left and right all day without breaking a sweat? A compass, get your mind out of the gudder.

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guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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- Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? - No.

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Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

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how may i help you

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if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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