What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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Whats that cool sound it makes when you thumbs a comment?

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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