How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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A black man named Lawrence was driving a car that wasn't his at 3 a.m. The car belonged to a drunk friend who asked Lawrence to be the designated driver.

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Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

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What is white on the inside and red on the outside? An apple.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Gun Control

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs is both the same.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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1: Ask if I'm a truck. 2: Uh... Are you a truck. 1: No.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because Osama Bin Laden is dead.

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How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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