So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

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Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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so a mom is like so what you want hunny and the dad goes like you baby bahahahahaa get it?

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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How do u know a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls out a tampon it has no cotton on it.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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