Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

Okay, one second.

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

Why are there so many black basketball players? Because they aren't green.

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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