Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do you call a blonde on the Moon? That depends on what her name is.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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