Who has the biggest cock A rooster

knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

You're a wizard Harry! I am?

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

What's worse than the Broncos losing the Superbowl? Your iPhone not working anymore

What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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