A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

Why is your face? Because.

I enjoy the fact that the jokes I post that do not make me laugh, are the ones that get zero thumbs, while those that at least make me smile, get at least a couple, I admit thought that its hard to keep track with me, I type jokes so fast that they disappear in the back before people can thumb them... Have you heard... Of the dog that was barking up the wrong three? The three said: Damn dog! I am not a tree! The dog kept barking, as dogs do not speak. Moral: Numbers speak fluently in most languages though...

Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

What did Batman say to his parents? Nothing. They're dead. Idiot.

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

Why did Suzy's neck hurt? Because it was broken

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

What's better than ice cream? Anal sex

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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