What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the dog do when he saw the flea?he ate it because he didn't know what would happen next

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the cow jump over the moon? He cant jump over the moon due to low gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than death? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Why are so many children obese? Because they eat to much and they are not physically active enough

thumb_up thumb_down -130

A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

An Asian child flunks a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops