Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What's the square root of four? Two.

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A man walks into a pole.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

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Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

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What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops