What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

ive got a joke for you Nicki minajs ase

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

Racial Equality.

Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

What's black, white and red all over? A zebra carcass

Get me a sandwich, bitch

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

What did the cat say to another ? meow

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...