Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face? The man replies "i have a huge malignant tumor in my chin"

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

Barack Obama.

What's white and sticky? Glue.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

Yo mamma so fat, she probably has Type Two Diabetes - which is often associated with obesity - and should seek medical advice.

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he can't fly

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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