How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? He received many presents because his parents loved him very much.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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What do you get if you cross a Black Man with a Knife? Stabbed.

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Yo mama's so stupid.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................uh jk

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pile of shit ? One is a black man, the other is a pile of shit.

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Jews.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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What is the difference between a pizza and the Jews? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

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What is a pirate's favorite kind of pizza? Cheese.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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