Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white

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JFK

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why did the internet crash? it didn't

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what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

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why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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Haikus are rigid, Their structure gives them beauty, And if you ignore the structure they kind of don't make sense and are bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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