Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Your mom walks into a bar.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. "Knock, Knock!" "Who's there?" "Not Sally"

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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The 80's

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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I dont no the difference between their and there

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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