A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Wanna know what my grandma said before she kicked the bucket? Hey grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

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what is worse then breaking on arm breaking two arms what is worse then breaking two arms the holocaust what is then the holocaust Obama care.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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People eat. Thats because we poop. No its the other way around. Sloppy Joes. Thats what my poop looks like. Oh no im eating poop in between two buns!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder lately? No? Neither has he.

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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