Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

Flop dog

JFK

"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

69

Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

A seal walks into a club.

You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

Once upon a time, there was a gorilla who found Suzie. Suzie was mauled because she had no arms

A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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