Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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Why did Henry jump of a cliff? He was in deep depression.

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Yidi Huang lives here.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Q. How much wood would a Wood-Chuck chuck if a Wood-Chuck could chuck wood? A. Wood-Chuck's clearly cant chuck would so what is the point of trying to figure out a question that would never take place in real life?

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Flop dog

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If you are riding a horse, how many watermelons does it take to kill a giraffe? Platypus.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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