Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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how do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? throw a mars bar off a cliff!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What's worse than getting kicked by a horse? Drowning.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why did Jim fall out of the tree? Because Jim is a leaf.

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What's worse than an apple with a worm? Serial Murder.

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Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

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How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

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whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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