how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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William and Kate do get off their ass and do something useful for once instead of hogging the cover of intouch magazine.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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A Jew, an African American, and a homosexual are on an island. They all came to Manhattan for different reasons and are enjoying the lives they've built there.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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Once upon a time, your face.

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

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9/11

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Theres a black a guy and a mexican in a car, whos driving? The black guy, they are best friends and happen to both be neurosurgeons.

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Women's rights... Are a legitimate concern in today's society.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Q: a blonde, a brunette, and redhead jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first? A: Most likely the one that weighs more

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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